2.If the only way you feel you can get a man's attention is by using your body, posing for sexy/sexual photos, flashing, sleeping around and/or all the above, then you need to work on yourself and your low self-esteem before you worry about looking for a man. Disrespecting one's self is just that - disrespecting YOU and no one, not even the guy you're crushing on finds it sexy. You know what he sees when a female is do these things? An easy lay, as does the rest of the guys you share those photos with. I don't say this to be cruel, I say it to be kind. Those types of photos should only be in the hands of the couple that are in the photos (couple or individual shots) or your boyfriend/spouse and not blasted over the internet, to be placed in the hands of some very unsavory characters. Maybe right now, you might, possibly, find it funny, but, believe me, you'll regret it one day.
3. Since the subject of sexy photos is still fresh on my mind, allow me to add a little side note here for the ladies that do have a man they want to keep. If you have the guy you feel is your "Mr. Right" or as close to perfect for you as you can get, please, stop posting sexy/sexual, tasteless photos of yourself on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, ect... Do you realize how disrespecting that is to your boyfriend? Husband? True, he doesn't "own" you, but for goodness sake, if you can't respect the man you claim to love, then RESPECT YOURSELF and/or any children you have or may have in the future. Your man doesn't want to see your bits hanging out for all gawking eyes to see, so, don't do it.
4. The "duckface" photos....JUST STOP IT!! You look like a freaking duck! Now, ask ALL the men you know how many of them have ever wanted to date, kiss, make out with and/or make love to a duck. Not as many as you thought, eh? Yeah, it's because they're NOT ducks. Stop looking stupid.
5. YOU teach men how to treat you. I'm sorry if that's hard to hear, but it's true. If you allow yourself to get walked on, you'll be a doormat. If you allow yourself to be a push-over, you'll be knocked down. If you allow yourself to be called names, screamed at, hit, kicked and mentally abused, you will remain a victim for as long as you are in that relationship and 9 times out of 10, if you manage to, somehow, escape alive out of that one, the chances of you finding yourself in a new relationship with the same type of man are extremely high. Want to know why? Scroll back up and read #1. You have to love YOU more than anyone else loves you because you make all your decisions. If you love the person you're making them for, you'll make good decisions.
6. Did he cheat on you? Did he come back crying, begging, pleading, saying he'll never hurt you again? Did you believe him and take him back? And did he cheat on you and hurt you again? Did you take him back? Do you see the pattern here? Think of it this way, you are the human and he is the puppy (Btw, by saying the guy is "the puppy", I am in no means saying "Men are dogs", so, please, no taking this out of context). Now, the puppy knows he isn't to wet on the carpet, but to go to the door and he's already achieved this several times, so you KNOW he knows this, but, instead, he wets the carpet. You show the puppy the mess, place him on a leash and take him outside to demonstrate the correct behavior. Once back inside, you give him a treat and all is well with the world. The next day, the puppy, again, wets the carpet. You show the puppy the mess, place him on the leash, take him outside to demonstrate the correct behavior and then it's back inside and you feed him a treat and so, the next time the puppy has to go, where is he going to wet at? Yeah, on the carpet because he knows he may get a little scorn, but he's going to get that treat and it's the same thing for cheaters. They like having their cake and eating it too and he will always cheat on you because you've allowed him to and to get away with it as before. There's a doghouse in someone else's backyard with his name on it...Set him free, sister. "Ruff ruff"
7. Never, never, never allow physical, mental and/or verbal abuse from anyone, not only your significant other! No matter what anyone has ever told you before, you are beautiful and you are loved by, at least, one person out there in this big world. Don't let people beat you down and make you feel worthless. YOU ARE SOMEBODY AND YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY FROM THE ABUSE! Just get out, even if it is only with the clothes on your back, ladies, get out! Domestic violence is an epidemic, so you're not alone. There are people, good people, out there that will and want to help you - don't be too proud to get yourself out of danger. If you have children, please, think of them and get you and your babies to a safe place. I know there's horror stories about men stalking their women down, ect...but, listen, if you leave, you have a very good chance (and so do your children) at a normal, happy future and believe me, you won't have that chance if you stay...you may be saving your life. I haven't heard of an abuser yet that was abusive to only their women. Children, whether being beaten or not are still being verbally and mentally abused.
8. When you're in a relationship, don't change yourself to be his "type". Too many times, I've seen women change into someone I don't recognize, merely, because she's dating someone new. She suddenly disappears, has no time for friends, doesn't return phone calls nor does she call you or other friends, it can even go as far as self-seclusion! When she's not with him, she's waiting by the phone in her footy pajamas for him to call because "he likes it when I'm home". Wow, he has you trained pretty well. Maybe you could use a leash like the puppy, above, in #6? Umm, btw, I'm sure that's not called love, that is called control and if it's the guy causing the woman to change all these things about herself, then she needs to get rid of him quick, but, if it's the girl, thinking she's becoming the lady he wants, she needs to check herself because she couldn't be more wrong. Men want you to be you, that's the one he began falling in love with and now, you're trying to change it up? Why? Obviously, you already was his type or he wouldn't have been interested in you to begin with. Duh! I'm telling you, women, and I know it to be true...once YOU LOSE YOU, he no longer sees you either and before long, he'll move on to another lady, one very similar to the girl you were before you wrecked yourself.
9. Every couple needs a little time away from one another, no matter how in love they are. Ladies, allow your men to breathe air.......away from you, at least, a couple of hours a week. No reason to tether him to your wrist. If a man's going to cheat, he'll cheat whether he has a whole night to do so or the 20 minutes it takes him to run down to the local market for some milk and eggs for tomorrow's breakfast. If he's going to do it, he will and no amount of hovering, nagging, stalking, crying or begging him to stay home and/or keep it in his pants is going to keep him faithful. Some men are loyal and some are scum, it's that simple and yes, this is also true for women.
10. In finishing, I'm going to bring it back to a little thing I like to call "girl2girl" and by that, I do not mean anything of a lesbian nature. I mean that I'm a firm believer in women building up other women, not tearing them down. Don't females have enough judgment and hate leveled at them without us casting it upon each other? We need to defend one another, form a "sisterhood" and unite to better this world. A woman transforms everything she touches and it can be for the good or it can be for the bad. The choice is yours. If you'd like to begin to make changes to honor that goal, then all the backstabbing, lying, cheating, stealing, gossiping, ect...it all needs to end and we need to be there for one another, as a true friend.
*BONUS ADVICE*
11. Don't be a gold-digger!!! Respect yourself and make your own dang money!!
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